Mary Lunn

John Henderson, an unbeliever,

Had lately lost his Joie de Vivre

From reading far too many books.

He went about with gloomy looks;

Despair inhabited his breast

And made the man a perfect pest.

 

Not so his sister, Mary Lunn,

She had a whacking lot of fun!

Though unbelieving as a beast

She didn't worry in the least,

But drank as hard as she was able

And sang and danced upon the table;

And when she met her brother Jack

She used to smack him on the back

So smartly as to make him jump,

And cry 'What-ho! You've got the hump!'

A phrase which, more than any other,

Was gall and wormwood to her brother;

For, having an agnostic mind,

He was exceedingly refined.

 

The Christians, a declining band,

Would point with monitory hand

To Henderson his desperation,

To Mary Lunn her dissipation,

And often mutter, 'Mark my words!

Something will happen to those birds!'

 

Which came to pass: for Mary Lunn

Died suddenly, at ninety-one,

Of Psittacosis, not before

Becoming an appalling bore.

While Henderson, I'm glad to state,

Though naturally celibate,

Married an intellectual wife

Who made him lead the Higher life

And wouldn't give him any wine;

Whereby he fell in a decline,

And, at the time of writing this,

Is suffering from paralysis,

The which, we hear with no surprise,

Will shortly end in his demise.

 

The moral is (it is indeed!)

You mustn't monkey with the Creed.

 

 

Home ] Up ]